Fitzcarraldo

by Weird Family

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about

We chose the title 'Fitzcarraldo,' based on Werner Herzog's movie of the same name, because we felt that its central metaphor of attempting to drag a boat over a mountain to build an opera house in the jungle was the perfect symbol for the inner anxieties of the creative life.

'Fitzcarraldo,' running slightly under 23 minutes, is a conceptual album intended to be listened to from beginning to end (at least once), as it traces the central challenge of trying to express the inexpressible or, in other words, live in the face of death.

credits

released May 20, 2013

Torben - Vocals
Kemble - Production

Made in The Sacred Grove.

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about

Weird Family Portland, Oregon

Weird Family is one part Torben (vocalist, Salt Lake City), one part Kemble (producer, Portland). Torben is a filmmaker. Kemble is a technologist.

Their debut EP, 'Fitzcarraldo," was released in 2013. It was inspired by Werner Herzog's film about a man attempting to build an opera house in the jungle.
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Track Name: Prologue
Verse One:

Late night epiphanies
I feel them alive, like they breathe
Deep inside my shadowy soul
Turn on lights, watch it glow
Film projects on my inner walls
All emotion, no words at all
Try to speak it, feel so weak, it
Is…so…
Hard to reach it
This album's about life
This album's about death
This album's about the fight that you fight to keep breath
I create to be immortal
Shape life, make a portal
Be a star, in orbit
See far, absorb it
Feelin' so incompetent
Losin' all my confidence
Damn, this shit in nonsense
I'm gonna lose my conscience
And let my demons haunt it
Take my soul and pawn it
Sorry, I am honest
I get lost easily
My ambitions teasing me
Things aren't what they seem to be
And what they seem is seemingly
Just another dream to me
Late at night they sing to me
Lullaby's, but what if I…
Can't say what they mean to me?

Verse Two:

Let the story begin
A man from Michigan with ink in his pen
Thinkin' again, words link with the wind
Blow through my ears through the speakers again
Drag the boat over
Mountains and boulders
Rivers and oceans
Rope on my shoulders
Travelin' through Babylon
Villages and palaces
They tell me to babble-on
My hands form calluses
Per-fectionist
Per, my recklessness
Merge with the words
And I wear them like necklaces
They become nooses
Each one produces
Mirages that lie and seduce it's
Like starin' at Medusa
Frozen by my dreams like starin' at halluci-
Nations that I'm facing' when I'm lookin' at my future
Lookin' in the mirror like nothin' ever suits ya
Try to find the path, but the path is illusio-
Nary and it's scary tryin' to speak like a mute the
World flies by in an instant
Lines form into circles in the distance
Track Name: Mysteries of the Body
There's a bottom to the ocean
Dig deep enough, you might find the potion
Live long enough, you might find the motion
The rhythm and precision that underlies commotion
The roots in my chest, extend to my navel
Bridge to the dead, truth in the fables
Truth in the mysteries told around the campfire
Night's approaching, I can see the lamp's tired
Flame flickerin'
Tipsy with a fifth of gin
Light and dark mix in him
Deep in the abyss of him
Trace the spine of a question mark to the answer
Cough out the sickness, kill the cancer/

(Breakdown)

There's a bottom to the ocean
Dig deep enough, you might find the potion
Live long enough, you might find the motion
The rhythm and precision that underlies commotion
I'm wandering, travelin' the mountain in my spine
Shape, the great wall
The fountain of my mind
My body is a continent, full of bloody rivers
Take a step onto it and drown in my liver
Stardust inside me, illuminate the atoms
If I shine then hide me from God like Adam
Nomadic, by habit, a savage, I have this
Dream that gleams in the passage of madness
Passionate, life is a flash and it
Moves fast, passin quick
No use stashin' it
Death has a hell of a memory
When it sends for me, it sends for me
Prepare mentally
Never been a friend of me
Meditate, set it straight
No need to hesitate
Rituals, habitual
Live life as critical
Determined, inner sermons
Eradicate the vermon
Disciplined learnin'
Inner wheels churnin'
A monk on the road travels inward
Philosophies surge n' enter my center
A day of exploration
The depths of my soul, my destination
The life that I am facin
cuz life's a quest and I question
Life's a test and I'm testin'
Take the lies and undress them
And fly in the right direction
Track Name: Babble-on
Verse One (Fragmentation):

Mutterin' through gutters n'
Stutterin’, thoughts utterin'
Speakin but sputterin', man I
Miss my brother n'
Nostalgic about
How it
Houses
Memories
Stem from me
Mentally
Meant to be
Sentimentally
Sent to me
My pen vents to me
Born in the wrong century
Midnight in Paris
Picasso befriended me
Not so, spirits enter me
A séance
Stay on
The beat plays on
For days on
I keep writin’
Hand hurtin'
Keep fightin'
A man searchin'
For enlightenment
Ignitin'
Anguish of language
The pain contained in
The deep, but spoke in layman's
Tongue is an island, a raft in the Cayman's
Ancient ash on the walls of caveman
Scrolls unfurled in the halls of Asians
Arranged and placed in the bass in my basement
Pen is my friend
The pen is my enemy
Depend on the pen
But the pen pretends to be
A friend, potentially
But the pen extends from me
I'm weak, it's weak
The pen depends on me

Chorus:

Babblin'
In Babylon
In Babylon
I'm babblin'

In Babel when
The towers went
Unravelin', so babble-on
In this modern day Babylon

Save me from this Babylon (x2)

Verse Two (Clarity):

Another day, another rap verse
30 years, no hits, man, that hurts
Wanna commune
But write abstract shit
Outta tune, don't fit in with this rap shit
Everything I package
Looks awful in pla-stic
Maybe I should quit, and that's it
Alone in my room
I zone to the tunes
Feed my mind
Ears the spoon
It's critical
I'm so critical
Nothin' good enough
In this ritual
Helen Keller
In a cella
Want to sing like Ella
Stevie, Nina
Cuz that's the arena
I've seen a…
Lot in my lifetime
Work hard, wake up the right mind
To wake up the right minds
To make up the right time
To make my light shine
And create my mic time
I'll take a lifeline
Just getting started
Live life til' I depart it
You know my heart is
An artist, and marches
To its beat, so give me a beat
Until my hearts gives
Track Name: Sundown (ft. Marissa Lila)
Verse one:

Died at birth
Learnin' living
Inside the earth
The forbidden
Truth is
Fighting is useless
Secrets betrayed
By loose lips
Why do I do this?
Ragin' lately
Not a zen Asian lately
Sick of philosophy
I'm just, well, not me
Life's so topsy
A lesser me shot me
Buried me
Rott-ing
Only me to blame
Only me to tame
Animal inside
Driving me insane
Always in-change
Hobble to the beat
The beat my blood
I walk with bloody feet
Travelin'
Running from a zombie
Unravelin'
I feel it comin' on me
It's happenin'
Rightly or wrongly
I better start livin' cuz the night is upon me

Chorus:

The night is coming
Today is a memory

The night is coming
The day is ahead of me

(x2)

Verse two:

Howl at the moon
Lickin' blades
See my dreams
Drift away
Life's just a mix of shades
Light, dark
I'm feelin' quite sick today
Subterranean
Depth in my cranium
Slept in the shade again
Tricked by the maze again
Watch clouds depart
I feel the heat in my heart
As I reach in the dark
There's a leak in the ark
I didn't know a
Life could fall lower
Jump in the raft
Dreams are the rower
My energy's
Tied to my memories
Double-edge sword
I feel it as it enters me
I wanna live like I'm meant to be
I wanna live for a century
So passionate, so alive
Til I die...
Eventually

Chorus x2
Track Name: Defeat-Id
VERSE ONE:

I started this to write the best song ever
Type that would allow me to quit rappin' forever
escape to my island, my island's my mind &
my mind is my client
my client has the appetite of giants
I feel it flow into me
A symphony that simply
Is sent to me and meant to be
Yet another win for me
It may look like a loss to you
Yeah, I've had a loss or two
But with this Kelsey Grammar you admit that I'm the boss of you
Karate choppin through
These obstacles
Cuz there's a lot to do
Listen man, it's not for you
Til my body rots into
The earth, it's my curse
To pursue the possible
Raised in a labyrinth
For days I inhabit it
Eat the fruit that Adam bit
Suck the juices out of it
Burn down mythologies
That dry up & dissolve in me
Cuz obviously, I'll probably
Remain another oddity
Honestly, he's
A man on an oddysey


VERSE TWO:

Boom, bap bap
Boom, bap bap
My heart mirrors the snare
That's the art of rap
I've been a part of that
Since it was an artifact
Brought it back
Cuz they killed it when they learned to market rap
Rapped when I was a kid, man
Rap is all I did, man
Stack raps, in my backpack
Lap tracks, man pack that
Backs crack, when I rap fast
Laughed at, I laughed back
Sharp as a tack, attack that
Purge with the words and blast that
You can intuit, I'm in to it
Rhymes colder than an inuit
Say down to earth like a druid's lips
I am not new to this
Foolishness, fluid with
Lines and rhymes that shine through the cluelessness
Who is this?
Goblin, help
Somebody stop him
Welp
He's a problem
Difficult to solve him
Rubix cube, with the muse
What the hell you call him?
Torben Bernhard, I beg your pardon
Rapped when I was a kid, man
Rap is all I did, man
Spittin' in my kitchen
Gettin lifted with my kinsman
Lips, tied at the hips, like Siamese twins &
That's the beginnin'
Of the end, the end is the beginnin'
Back to my island
My island's, my mind &
My mind is an asylum
A tyrant, defiant
Drags me into corridors of metaphors
Where I always write one more rhyme
And Write one more time
Or else...
Track Name: Mirages (ft. Diatom)
Verse One:

Illusions, delusions
Confusion
I Choose when
I'm winnin, or losin
Perspective, directs it
I'm Clued in
Assumin'
I let it
Consume &
Oasis
In faces
Of humans
I knew then
My chest is deep and cavernous
I let these pests inhabit it
Eat me from inside, they ravenous
Attack the passages
Of dreams
And accidents
Bash the passionate
Bones in my back n'
Smash it with'
These acts of passiveness
Imagine
Rubbin' on a lamp like Aladdin
Try to make wishes, but wishes won't happen
Everytime I grab em, they slip through my fingers like sand in my hand and
I'm left stranded
Damn, this…
Is not how I planned it
But how I planned it, was rejected by this planet
Man this, becomes too much to take
Please open my eyes to see the fake

Chorus:

I'm seeing mirages
See an oasis
See my dreams
Vanish right in front of me

Verse two:

Illusions, delusions
A fusion
Abusin
My moods n'
my movement
The crudeness
Life, when it loses its newness
Looks like a noose
Or a nuisance
That loops its
Way into my music
These words that I transmit
Are my only transit
Move from point a to b
Hope they understand this
Talk a lot, but think alot
Quick sand makes me sink in spot
Fly...Icarus
I'm...sick of this
Ambition, crushing my shoulders
Weighing me down
Sit in a position
Far from the crown
Dream of foreign landscapes
If a man is, a man makes
A man gives, a man takes
Reachin' deep
In speech
I leap into this sleep
I seek in cold and heat
I walk on broken feet
Travelin' through life
On the edge of the night
Travelin, I fight
On the edge of a knife
Drift in the hands of my dreams, to bed
Time sifts through the sands of Tibet
Find my mind in the land by the edge
Mapped and planned, climb deep in my head

Bridge:
Why do I?
Why do I?
Why do I?
Chase mirages...

Verse Three:

These mirrors surround me
They try to drown me
Right where they found me
But I am reboundin'
Live life and soundin'
Out to the Alps
And about to be
Houndin'
Truth in the mountains
Live on the ground
But dreams of the clouds be
Seepin' in my chest, while I lay awake
Please open my eyes to see the fake

Chorus:

I'm seeing mirages
See an oasis
See my dreams
Vanish right in front of me
Track Name: Lines and Circles
Verse one:

Music's like a snake charmer
I'm a man with no armor
Dancing to the rhythm, and my shadow, looks like karma
I can feel it chasin' me
Feelin' like a race to me
The feelin' is familiar, but this is a new phase for me
Basically
I used to get so baked they called me pastry
Try to run away from problems, but they won't escape from me
Cuz the prison is inside
My paradigm
And pair of thoughts
Called a paradox
And, apparently, I appear lost
I occasionally veer off, the path
As I steer off, the map
Tryin' to clear off, my past
Life flows in cycles
Time is a lie and success is a psycho
Rejoin the rhythm
Rejoin the vision and
Rejoin your wisdom
There is no algorithm
There's only decisions
Improvised livin' in the palm of a prism
Five blind men and an elephant, gropin'
Can't tell what the hell it is, hopin'
Life is more than what meets the hands
To make God laugh, just go speak your plans

Chorus:

Lines and circles
Circles and lines
The lies might hurt you
The blind lead the blind
In time you will find
That it time you will find
The answers to your questions
Are the questions in your mind

To live is to die
To live is to lose
To live is to cry
To live is to bruise

To live is to work
To live is to feel
To live is to hurt
To live it to heal

Verse two:

Writin' on paper
The lines are blinds
Looking out the window
To signs, in my mind
Cuz I'm...
A book with a broken spine
Read into everything
Wish I could rewind
I could've skimmed, but read every letter
Drew out the lines, everything meta
Chewed through the rhine
Spit out the better
Parts of my heart
Tryin' to be clever
The things that we sever
May die away forever
As we incorrectly measure
Life in the fast lane
Fight with my past brain
Dream of my future
But the present is my last aim
The now is... hard to frame
Right now is... hard to tame
But now is all we have, so we try to maintain
And kill lies that infect our mainframe
Dying to breathe
Dying to be
Dying to dream
Dying to see
But livin' for me

Repeat chorus